I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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