Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
