he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
