Your face is a jimmy john
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
