i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
