I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
