Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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