Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
