I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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