what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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