you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
