dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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