its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
