dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
