she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just took my morning after pill in the library
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
