THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
