I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
