Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.