Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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