So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
