i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I will be naked everywhere
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
