do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
