i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
