walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
