evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize