You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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