It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
this is an emotional support booty call
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
