Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
