I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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