when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
