I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
