i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
