it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I need water and some morals
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
