I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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