my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
