I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
