Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
