never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
