I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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