I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
