How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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