ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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