I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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