The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
