i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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