If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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