Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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