I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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