omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sober January is a disaster.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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