Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
