Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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