gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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