I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
