Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
