just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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