I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I love you. Go after that dick
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
